Baker Mayfield just doesn’t know how black people shake hands

With Baker Mayfield having run his mouth all off season, dubbing his team the pre-Super Bowl, Super Bowl winners, before a single regular season snap had been played, people started to gather towards the side of pro-Baker and anti-Baker. There were plenty who disliked his loud-mouth, brash attitude, along with others who find it refreshing to see a confident man with an array of weapons at his disposal showing a strong belief in his teams ability.

What happened once the regular season began, however, was that everyone remembered this super team was the Cleveland Browns- and of course you’d have to either have had your head up your own ass for the past decade or just be a rabid Kevin Costner movie fan who has trouble differentiating reality from Cleveland sports to know Draft Day was fiction and that no amount of first round picks and trades for talented net kicking receivers who like to do coke in Miami before playoff games would change the inevitable outcome of the Browns season.

So when they started poorly, Baker double downed on his preseason bragging and ranting and tried to sell the public on thinking that the team just needed to find their rhythm, and no amount of smack talk from a former coach with a fetish for Mark Sanchez’s feet would bring the team down.

Seeing that the public wasn’t buying it any longer, and fresh off continuing to be the most head-scratching undefeated team in football, with dominant wins over awful teams as well as a statement win on a bye-week where they were heavily favored in Vegas, Richard Sherman saw an opportunity to drag Mayfield down. The defense shut down the Browns offense on Monday night, but needing to add fuel to the fire, Sherman wanted to public to know it was Mayfields pre-game antics that really fired the squad up.

As a man who’s known as a loud-mouth, as well as someone with his share of dirty plays on the field, and the occasional moment of intimidating women on the sidelines who have been victims of sexual harassment in the past, Richard apparently has one pet peeve that gets his blood boiling. Not properly shaking someones hand during the coin toss.

Going on record and stating Mayfield didn’t shake his hand before the game, thus riling the 9ers D up, is the spark that led to the Browns putting up 3 points. Since this was such big news, and people love any reason now to see Mayfield falter, and also because Sherman apparently forgot its 2019 and literally everything that happens during an NFL game is recorded so that refs can review plays to remind themselves they don’t know what a catch is from multiple angles, so fans can hear mic’d up players grunt, and so we know who kneels and stands during the anthem, some people looked for video of the non-shake handshake.

The problem is, Baker clearly does shake his hand. Sherman made up a blatant lie for absolutely no reason. Except now one has to wonder, did he just not properly shake his hand? Is Sherman trying to alert us to the fact Baker Mayfield has spent his short NFL career, in predominantly black locker rooms, not knowing how one makes hand-to-hand contact.

If this is the case, Baker can’t be faulted. Do you know how many possible hand shake combinations exist? I still shutter in fear prior to anytime I have to say hello to someone with the use of a hand. This is why just bumping fists is the most non-controversial form of hellos. Not to say it can’t be messed up, I’m sure theres an idiot out there who has stuck out a knuckle or something, but for the most part its 99% success rate makes it the best. You go palm to palm though? Many factors come into play. How long should you hold hands for, Are you slapping palms and THEN turning it into the shake? Are you bringing in more than just the hands, say for a hug? If-so, whats that hug look like? Now we have to bring time into play again. Is it going to be one of those mini thumb war type shakes? These are all questions people have found themselves having to answer on the fly.

So the way it looks, Richard Sherman was clearly full of shit, as Baker did shake his hand and Sherman just thought nobody would call him on that, because it’s such a trivial thing to lie about. Except lie he did, and now the only plausible explanation is, Baker is just another terrible white QB with no street cred.

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