The Rules of Gender Identity

The rules of life are constantly changing. We’ve come a long way from the country we once were, learning to tolerate and accept all sorts of people and their lifestyles. I’m all for living the life you want, no problems here. I don’t like some of the rules that come with it though, like allowing people to just decide what they now identify as. I’m not saying if you were born a man but feel more comfortable in women’s clothes you can’t wear a skirt and some revealing low cut top. You do you, and you get it girlfriend. Flaunt it if you got it. Except, you’re not a girlfriend, you’re still a dude. Unless you go full retard and cut that pig in a blanket off, you’re a guy. If you get the sex change surgery, really transition into being a woman, it’s one thing. If you’re name is Allen and you’re wearing a sun dress and your hair in a ponytail, you’re still a guy named Allen, even if you keep telling everyone to call you Melissa.

This is really the only thing that makes no sense to me. Simply saying you want to be something you’re not, doesn’t make it so. If it did, I’d be Batman. I’m not though, I’m an out of shape 30 year old man who drinks too much and gets winded walking up 6 steps. That’s just the hand I’ve been dealt. So if we allow people to just stomp their feet and decide they’re now something they weren’t ten days ago, what’s to stop me from deciding I no longer want to be 30. What if I decide, sure biologically I am 30, but I identify as a 12 year old. Am I allowed to go wreak havoc in little league baseball?

People are too afraid to call people out on bullshit like this, in fear of being labeled a homophobic or prejudice. I was yelled at by a transgender man/woman a few months ago while laughing at a sign on a NYC bathroom that said gender neutral. My problem was, wouldn’t calling it simply “bathroom” mean it was gender neutral? I didn’t even have an issue with the person or their wig and mini cut dress with the obvious bulge in it, or his chiseled jaw line and protruding Adams apple. That’s how you want to walk around, that’s what you’re comfortable in, fine by me. I sure as shit am not one to dish out fashion advice. Except when you go piss in that gender neutral bathroom, you’re gonna be standing up, and there’s no clothes that can change that.

And is there no level of concern for these gender neutral bathrooms? How do we know Shannon the former Barry isn’t really just creepy Barry going to sneak a peak at ladies taking a piss? People are into weird shit like that. Do we really need to put people in a position where they’re alone in a bathroom with some creep who identifies as an upstanding member of society, but really isn’t?

How do we go about people when they decide they’ve changed genders? I worked with a woman, a very butch lesbian woman who could easily beat the shit out of me, for a while. We’ll say her name was Sara. She left my job and began working at an agency I deal with often. I hadn’t heard from her for a while, when I got a call from her job and recognized her voice immediately. Except when I asked who was calling, her name had suddenly become “Brad”. I sat there silently for a moment, trying to figure out how to go about this. I’d never met this Brad fella, so I didn’t know if I was allowed to ask how he’d been doing since we’d last spoke. I just acted like it was a new person and moved on. Then we had a meeting. Wondering if she was going to come in with a beard now, I had to prepare myself. She came, looked exactly the same (not like she was wearing dresses when I knew her anyway) and acted like she’d never met me before. Is that the rule? When you change genders your life before is erased completely? Did Caitlyn have to reintroduce herself to all the Kardashians before pretending to be a hero and reaping millions of dollars off the publicity that came with her sex change?

I don’t even know if Brad got an actual sex change or if she just wanted to change her name and identify as a guy now. Whichever it was, it’s not reasonable to expect everyone in the world to know her decision. She looked like the same butch woman she was when we met, and I’d find it hard to think any cashier would not think to call her ma’am. Plus what about the butch lesbian women who still identify as a woman. What if we accidentally call them “sir” while trying to make them feel comfortable? What are the rules?

People look for any excuse to now be a victim. Billie Lee on Vanderpump Rules wasn’t involved in a girls night event on the show and somehow used it as a platform to cry about how she was targeted because she is trans. Overlooking the fact that maybe they just didn’t think to include her for a number of different reasons, like just not thinking about it, she immediately called them prejudice and all that shit. Billie Lee got the surgery, girls a girl, and actually not a bad looking one at that. But don’t go crying at any chance you can looking for publicity or sympathy just because you think you deserve it.

Live your life, if you’re gay/straight/attracted to trees/whatever I don’t care. That’s your business and I support your right to be happy. That doesn’t mean you get to change the game though because you want to be something else. Your gender isn’t your career, if you’re failing at being a woman you can’t give it the ol’ college try at being a guy. Wear whatever the fuck you want, have sex with whoever you want, do whatever you want. As long as you’re not hurting anybody, then great, be you. Don’t expect everyone to bend over backwards though to make you feel important and special. Pretty soon they’re gonna run out of letters to slap onto the end of LGBTQ.

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