Celebrity children need more advantages in life

The biggest college admissions cheating scandal is currently unfolding in front of our eyes and I have no idea why this is shocking people. Rich celebrities have been caught bribing people to get their children into big name schools. Uh, yeah…? No shit. Isn’t that how life works? The rich use their wealth to ensure their children are basically handed more wealth. What I don’t understand is why they even wasted money or effort doing this. You’re already rich and famous, by rule, your child is going to be rich too, and if they have any iota of talent, maybe they’ll be famous. You don’t need to send them to expensive big name universities. I went to SUNY Albany. I’m as successful as I was going to be had I gone to Harvard. Not to say I wouldn’t have been given better opportunities had I gone to Harvard, but at the end of the day, unless you have ambition and motivation, no matter what college you go to, you’re going to end up wherever you’re supposed to in life.

Lori Loughlin, AKA Aunt Becky from Full House, AKA one of the first loves of my life, allegedly spent $500,000 to get her two daughters on the USC womens rowing team, and by default into the university, even though they don’t row. Is that how it’s referred to? I don’t row either, so who the fuck knows. Who rows, for that matter? Regardless, her daughter even said before she got in, she doesn’t care about school, she’s only going to party. So then why waste the money getting her in? Send her to one of the other million party schools out there.

Those are her daughters. You’re Aunt Becky. You were a perfect ten to most boys in America before we even knew what perfect ten meant. Your daughters come from the bloodline of you and Uncle Jesse, which means they are basically coming out the womb as Greek Goddesses. OK, so it wasn’t with Uncle Jesse, but in a perfect world it would’ve been. They still are a descendant of Aunt Becky and will be making money off their looks on Instagram before they marry a rich billionaire in a few years, they don’t need college. Save that 500 grand. Uncle Jesse needs it for hair products.

Then you’ve got Felicity Huffman, but honestly the media is missing out on this and not blaming it all on her husband, William H. Macy. AKA Frank fuckin scam artist Gallagher.

Why are we not pinning this whole thing on an unused script from Shameless? It 100% has Frank written all over it. Any chance that guy gets to get one over on the man, while drinking his body weight in whiskey, he takes.

The point is, this shouldn’t shock anyone. Rich people spend money to ensure they continue to stay rich. Colleges profit whenever they can, off of whoever they can. Or is it whomever? I don’t know, again I went to SUNY Albany. Why are we now acting surprised they accepted money to get kids into school. We look the other way when athletes who can’t tie their shoes without watching how to do it on youtube get scholarships to elite universities, all of the sudden we have a moral compass for when the rich with unathletic kids try to get a leg up? Give me a break. We all know Jay Z and Beyonces kid is going to wind up in some prestigious school, even if she can’t read or write. It’s just the way the world works.

Also, they named this sting “Operation Varsity Blues” and that just is ironic because it all could’ve been avoided had any of their kids just pulled a Mox and told them

Anyway, here’s another picture of Lori Loughlin and her daughter, because why not?

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