The biggest shock about Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson is a weird looking white woman. At least that’s what I thought when I was younger. Child me liked some of her songs, though I preferred the Weird Al versions because, well, I’m a fuckin weirdo.

Speaking of fuckin weirdo’s, I’d come to learn eventually that Michael Jackson actually was a dude. Later on, I’d see some of his stuff from when he was a child, and low and behold, I learned he was also black. I was about 9ish at the time. Even now, all these years later, I think that was the most shocking revelation about Michael Jackson to me, that he wasn’t a white woman after all.

NOT a woman

Which is why it’s kinda sad that, even with the release of this latest documentary about his odd life, I am not at all shocked at any of the revelations that have come out about him. No, I wasn’t one of the diddled little boys, though I was probably exactly his type, the right age at the right time, so I guess I should be slightly offended he didn’t pick me. It’s just that I have heard all this before, albeit in a much less detail oriented fashion, so I don’t know why people are acting like this is groundbreaking information. Although now that I think about it, was my butthole not good enough for Michael Jackson? Was I too chunky of a kid? Was I not innocent enough for him? These questions may never be answered.

DO NOT make the “suck it” sign to Michael Jackson if you’re a child

Nobody ever looked at Michael Jackson and thought, “Gee, this guy really has his shit together.” No, we watched in horror as he almost pulled an old lady at the end of Titanic-with his own kid instead of a necklace- on a balcony. We put up with the 8 million plastic surgeries to become a Dr. Suess character, and not to mention, the guy has had child molestation charges thrown at him a million times from what it seems while I was growing up. The early 2000’s were all about his trial and the crazy shit going on with him. He lived in his own Disneyland, with rides, animals, pedophile dens, gardens, basketball courts, hell maybe even the actual frozen head of Walt Disney himself is on that property somewhere. Who the fuck knows anymore. And if it is, admit it, it won’t surprise you.

So yes, this documentary exposes the harsh truth of just what was happening, from the mouths of the alleged victims themselves, so it adds a bit of drama and realism to what we already knew. Obviously we all knew the guy was a whackadoo to the highest degree, which we ignored because we loved his songs. Except in the back of our minds, no matter how much we enjoyed his stuff, we knew that Billie Jean was actually probably little Billy with a mushroom haircut who slept in the same bed with MJ and had parents who accepted a bajillion dollar payoff for pimping out their sons butthole.

For the right price, parents would allow their kids to love him

That’s why this is so shocking I guess, because people knew about all this, but hearing the actual disgusting details are what’s pushing people over the edge. It’s alright to listen to a pedophile tell us it doesn’t matter if we’re black or white, but once we hear that he was busy teaching 7 year olds how to spank one out while simultaneously showing them how to avoid being caught while he was having their buttholes for lunch, it becomes too much. It may not matter if we’re black or white, ’cause pedophiles come in all colors. And sadly, people don’t mind the truth as long as they don’t have to know the FULL truth. The actual details.

MJ liked to sleep with little boys and maybe molest them? Whatever, throw the Free Willy theme on.
Oh he liked to make them bend over so he could jerk off to their innocent little shitters? Nevermind, throw some Taylor Swift on instead.

People can overlook things as long as they don’t have to hear the reality of the situation. It’s easy to paint someone a pedophile without getting into the actual acts that took place to be able to use that label. Add in people’s love for said person, and ignoring it is even easier. Once people found out Jared from Subway was a child porn fiend who dabbled in the diddling, it was over for him. He was just a commercial actor, so the label alone was enough to make him an evil piece of shit (which he is) to the public immediately. Had he done more than just hold up a denim circus tent for Subway once, people may have ignored it for a while, until the details of his actual fucked up life came out.

Jared, holding the Levis sponsored Barnum and Bailey Circus tent

So while watching the documentary, don’t gasp and say you never knew. You knew, we all knew. It was common knowledge we all liked to ignore. His abuse as a child doesn’t excuse it, though it helps to give some sense of why he was so fucked up. He still is responsible for fuckin up the lives of these kids, and we were all too mesmerized by his moonwalking to even care. We watched him dangle his kids from a balcony while transforming into an alien in front of our own eyes, and yet now we wanna play Monday Morning Quarterback and think about how we didn’t see this shit coming. Fuck that, I’m gonna go back to listening to Weird Al, who actually isn’t the fuckin weird one.

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